


The Sun and his Moon

by unreadable0



Series: I'll find you in every universe... [3]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Bittersweet Ending, Forbidden Love, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mourning, kurapika is a prince, kuroro is the royal advisor, loose butterfly lovers au, royal!AU, sun and moon allusions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 06:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15382464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unreadable0/pseuds/unreadable0
Summary: “I’m getting married.”Those three words, spoken with such emotionless finality, make Kuroro’s blood run cold. Kurapika glances away, not able to meet the other's stricken expression. They had both known that it was coming. They had both known all along that what they had wouldn’t last. Couldn’t last. But it still doesn't feel fair. Kurapika takes a shaky breath.OR:A Butterfly Lovers AU.





	The Sun and his Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I expanded this angsty tumblr drabble into an angsty oneshot! Blame @piyo-nii for putting me into such a depressing mood (jk I love you so much your writing is just INSPIRING!)

The night was eerily quiet. It's the calm before the storm, Kurapika muses. A part of himself wants to ignore the pressing issue at hand and just curl up in the warmth of the other man, to just enjoy his last few days with him, but he knows that doing that would be selfish.

He looks down at his hands. They're trembling, and he hopes that Kuroro hasn't noticed. 

“What’s on your mind?”

Kurapika bites his lip, avoiding the other’s gaze. His lover quirks an eyebrow, a teasing smile at his lips.

“Let me guess, Leorio ruined another one of your books,” he surmises, hand coming up to toy with the other’s hair. “Did he accidentally drop it into the lake again?" Kuroro laughs lightly to himself, and the noise makes something in Kurapika break. "I remember last time—“

“I’m getting married.” 

Those three words, spoken with such emotionless finality, make Kuroro’s blood run cold. Kurapika glances away, not able to meet the other's stricken expression. They had both known that it was coming. They had both known all along that what they had wouldn’t last. _Couldn’t last_. But it still doesn't feel fair. Kurapika takes a shaky breath. 

“I have three days. Then I am to be shipped off to some foreign kingdom to play my role as the docile husband." He all but spits out the last part. When only silence meets his declaration, he glances up at the other’s face. 

The dark-haired man’s expression is deceptively blank, but Kurapika can see the emotions fighting to break surface. Anger. Fear. Frustration. Love. 

“Kuroro?” he prompts softly, cupping his cheek. 

The royal adviser seems to break, then. Grabbing the blond's hand, he holds it to his lips, kissing his palm softly. Kuroro gathers the smaller man to him, holding him as close as possible. Automatically, Kurapika’s arms wrap around the other, and Kuroro burrows his face into his neck, taking an unsteady breath. 

For a long time they just remain like this, and Kurapika tries his best to memorize the feel of the other's frame pressed securely against his own. 

“Who is it?” Kuroro asks, question piercing the heavy silence that has settled between them. There is a rawness in the man’s voice, and Kurapika lets his eyelids close, kissing the unsmiling corner of Kuroro’s lips. 

“I do not know. A prince from the Kakin Empire, I believe,” he replies, weariness evident in his tone. “I will not know until I arrive at their palace.” Kuroro’s arms tighten around him protectively. 

“So that’s it, then?” he asks airily, barking out a bitter laugh. “You have just resigned yourself to your fate? Where is that fighting spirit that I have come to know?”  _That I have come to love?_ "Surely, there is a way—" An idea seems to present itself to the man, and Kurapika swallows thickly. 

"We cannot—" he protests, but is cut off by a dizzying kiss from the other. Kuroro grips his hands, desperation coloring his voice in a way that makes Kurapika want to cry. 

"Run away with me," Kuroro breathes, resting his forehead against the blond's. "Run away with me, Kurapika. We can leave tonight. I don't care where we go, as long as I can be with you—"

Kurapika can feel a lump forming in his throat. "Stop." He pulls himself from the other's embrace. He's making it  _so damn hard._ The impulsive part of him wants to say yes, to just disappear into the night with the man he loves. But he knows that he can't put that kind of life—one of constant hiding and secrecy—on Kuroro. He shouldn't have to suffer because of Kurapika's problems. "Stop, please." His voice breaks at the end. Kuroro shrinks back, jaw clenched. 

“There is an agreement between our kingdoms,” Kurapika explains, exhaustion seeping into his voice. He is so,  _so tired._ He just wants Kuroro to hold him, to tell him that everything will be okay. “If I refuse, I could very well be starting a war.”

“Then start a war!” Kuroro says harshly, practically shaking with restrained emotion. Kurapika winces. Regaining his composure, he draws the other close once again. “I would rather fight an entire war single-handedly than lose you,” he whispers, and Kurapika feels his heart clench at the fragility in his eyes. 

“I love you,” he tells him quietly, “you know that, right?”

Kuroro seems to melt. “Of course. Of course I know,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to the side of Kurapika’s forehead. “I love you. I love you so much, my little sun.”

_As much as the sun loves the moon, I love you more._

Kurapika feels a tear slide unwittingly down his cheek. “Then kiss me,” he says, voice barely audible. "Kiss me one more time." Kuroro hardly needs to be told twice. 

All his thoughts and worries for the future promptly vanish as Kuroro’s lips capture his own. It's desperate, filled with sadness and salty from tears, but Kurapika falls into it nonetheless. A hand comes to rest at his cheek, holding him so gently that Kurapika is sure that he will break. 

_We can never be together._

Kuroro deepens the kiss, and it tastes like goodbye. 

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

* * *

 "I'll write to you." 

The two of them are in a secluded corridor, just hours before Kurapika's departure. The prince tries to muster up a smile at the other's words. Doesn't he know? It doesn't matter if he writes him one word or a million; it will never compare to even one second of feeling Kuroro's hand in his. Kurapika's heart aches, and he leans in a little closer. 

"You'd better," he says weakly into the other's neck. The adviser sighs, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Kurapika's ear. 

"I'm going to miss you." For moment, Kuroro's strong facade wavers. "God, I'm going to miss you so damn much."

Kurapika's hands shake as they find their way to the dark-haired man's face. "I know. I know." 

The other grins, although it looks dimmer than usual. "Will you miss me, little sun?" Kurapika laughs, heavy with emotion. 

"More than anything." The honesty in his voice shocks the both of them, and Kurapika presses an unhurried kiss to the other's lips. 

_As much as the sun loves the moon, I love you more._

When he slips back into his chambers, the maids take in his red-rimmed eyes but make no comment.

Later, when Kurapika has said his final goodbyes and mounted his horse, he turns back one more time, a sad little smile on his lips. He looks at his love, imparting every little detail of his face into his memory.  _I love you,_ he says silently.

It takes all of Kuroro's willpower not to run after him. 

Once the royal procession is out of sight, Kuroro feels a pain in his chest. A burning sensation that slithers thick and bitter up his throat, like liquid fire. Waving off concerned looks, he stumbles to the latrines. He coughs, the sound grating and wet. His lungs scream for air, and his vision swims, but there is nothing he can do but grip onto the wall and pray to the gods that it will pass. 

After a few agonizing minutes, his body relents. Kuroro curls up into himself on the cold mosaic of the floor. He is supposed to be getting better, but he's getting worse. He checks his sleeve

Three perfect little droplets of blood stain the fabric, and Kuroro's heart stops. 

* * *

Kurapika finds out three months later. The cup he is holding slips from his grasp, and he distantly hears the expensive porcelain shatter on the floor. He had suspected something when the letters had stopped coming, but he had told himself that maybe Kuroro had simply moved on. It had hurt, but he knows that he can recover, with time. He isn't expecting  _this._

God, he can't recover from  _this._

He wants to cry out, to scream. He wants to shout to the heavens, to curse the gods at the sheer  _injustice_ of it all. He wants to throw something, to run until his legs give out. He wants, he wants, he  _wants._

_(Did he die alone?)_

Then Pairo's lips move, mouth forming words that break the dam keeping back all of Kurapika's emotions. _No. No. No, no, no._ He refuses to believe this. Hands find their way to his shoulders, and voices call out to him to  _calm down._ _Stop,_ they hiss,  _c_ _ompose yourself, your highness._ Kurapika ignores them all, and suddenly words are flowing out, too fast and soaked in anguish. 

"I would know,"he claims, tears flowing past his cheeks now. "I would feel it. I would—I would..." Guilt rises in his throat. He had felt nothing. Kuroro had died two months ago, and he hadn't even noticed. Pairo makes to say something, to comfort him, maybe. A strangled sob escapes the blond. "Stop. Please."

_(You could have been there.)_

_(You should have noticed.)_

_(He was dying. Where were you?)_

"Stop," he begs, but his thoughts viciously tear on. 

(Kuroro, lips stained red. Eyes blank.)

_(You weren't there.)_

_(Why weren't you there?)_

_(Why didn't you come?)_

Arms wrap around him, and Pairo kisses his forehead. For a moment, Kurapika lets himself believe that it is Kuroro holding him. If he closes his eyes, maybe he can pretend...

_Kuroro's laugh, rich and warm, as a careless hand cards through his hair. Lazy afternoons, bathing in the sun with Kuroro's lips resting at the curve of his neck. Kuroro calling out his name from the gardens, the prince's name curling sweetly in the other's mouth. Slats of light falling across Kuroro's face, their limbs tangled in the sheets—Kuroro. Kuroro. Kuroro._

"You can go see him," Pairo says tentatively, once Kurapika has calmed down. 

Lifting his head, the prince gives him a broken look before asking in a hoarse voice, "Where?"

* * *

Kuroro rests in a small grove, at the very edge of the forest. A simple white stone protrudes from the ground, protected by a small alder tree. Kurapika sinks down in front of it. He doesn't cry, not yet. He is too spent, anyway. 

The clouds crowd thickly above him, heavy with rain. As the first drops fall, he begins to speak, voice quiet but strong. 

"I should have listened to you," he confesses. "I should have just run away with you. I should have stayed. I shouldn't have left you." The tree stirs in the wind, and a leaf flutters to the ground. He takes a deep breath, a watery smile at his lips. "Why didn't you tell me? You know that I would have come." _You know I never would have left in the first place._

_(Perhaps he did not want you to come.)_

Kurapika feels cool rain kiss his cheeks, and he gives a ragged sigh. "I want to be angry with you," he says, growing louder. "I want to scream and yell at you for being so _damn_ stubborn. Were you afraid of what I might do? Were you afraid of hurting me?" He is close to shouting now, and thunder rumbles overhead. "You're a _coward_. You're a coward... and yet I love you still." His words get lost towards the end, and he closes his eyes. "I love you." He feels tears spill down his face, hot against his chilled skin. 

"It won't stop  _hurting,_ " he whispers, and his sadness grounds him. "Will it ever stop?" The thunders seems to roar in response, and Kurapika dries his eyes.

_(Your pain is mine.)_

He stands, turning to go. He makes it a few steps before he glances back, on impulse. "As much as the sun loves the moon, I love you more," he murmurs, words carrying in the storm-charged air. 

_(I love you more.)_

A peal of thunder rips through the sky, deafening. The ground splits, folding into itself, and Kurapika can only watch in horror as Kuroro's tombstone tumbles into the chasm. Without hesitation, he leaps into the cavern after it. As if on cue, the earth closes up behind him, and Kurapika feels a moment of panic before a cool peace settles into his mind.  _Kuroro._

Darkness floods his vision, and Kurapika is just so  _tired._

The moon glows a little brighter, and two butterflies flutter out from the grave. One silver, the other gold. 

The Sun and his Moon. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, after reading this again, I realize how rushed and awkward the ending is (or rather, how rushed the entire thing is). Whoops. Anyway, I hope you still (kind of?) enjoyed this little writing blerp! Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!
> 
> Lots of love,  
> unreadable0


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